LANDOVER, Md. – Go ahead, just smile. Laugh if you want.
In all my 41 years covering these Dallas Cowboys, never, never have ever, ever seen anything quite like this.
Not this bizarre.
You kidding me?
Bet if you were among the thousands of Cowboys fans adding to the 64,955 folks here on a gorgeous fall afternoon at Northwest Stadium, this all left you coming out of your skin. The ups, the downs, the re-ups, the nears downs. The exhilaration.
And tell me, did these presumptive sad-sack Cowboys, against all odds – and the odds were stacked by double-digits for this road game, and by kickoff then some even more with so many starters missing – get you up off the couch? Maybe even up dancing some? Probably caused a little texting a time or three or, gosh forbid, losing your mind making a phone call to actually talk to someone, anyone.
Of all things, Cowboys an improbable 34, Commanders a humbling 26, right before your very eyes, causing a commotion.
Look here, these 3-7 Cowboys, coming into this NFC East game on a five-game losing streak, were playing without starting quarterback Dak Prescott, still without No. 2 receiver Brandin Cooks and now for the first time without No. 1 tight end Jake Ferguson.
And, by golly, they won.
They were playing without their two Pro Bowl starting guards on the offensive line, and at times they had three backup offensive linemen playing at the same time. Plus, add in starting a rookie at center and just one veteran lineman on the field.
And they won.
They left a late-in-the-week injury listed "questionable," cornerback Trevon Diggs, mysteriously behind. Didn't even bother to bring him to the game, just in case. And the other starting corner, DaRon Bland, who had spent the previous 11 weeks inactive after surgery to repair his fractured fifth metatarsal, was playing for the first time this season.
And they won.
If you are scoring at home, they were playing conceivably without their top-five most experienced and best players: Dak (9th season), Zack Martin (11th), DeMarcus Lawrence (11th), Cooks (11th) and Diggs (5th). If you are adding it up at home, that's 47 years of experience.
And they won.
Said head coach Mike McCarthy of what he told the team before the game, "This game needs to be about who is playing, and the things we need to do to win. This game will not be about who is not there. Take advantage of your opportunity."
Well said, but then get this.
The Cowboys began this game on their first possession by having a Brandon Aubrey field-goal attempt smothered, of all things. Then on the second possession, Aubrey missed from 42 yards off the right upright. Then on the third possession, lost running back Rico Dowdle's fumble, his first lost one of the season. And on the fifth possession, Bryan Anger's punt is partially blocked, going just 23 yards.
And they won.
Why, they only scored a halftime season-low three points, and even if they outgained the Commanders by 65 yards in those two quarters, they managed to emerge from that disastrous half just tied, 3-3.
And they won.
Won because, as CeeDee Lamb pointed out, "We scratched and clawed."
Won because backup quarterback Cooper Rush played the best game of his now three-game streak starting, throwing for 247 yards by completing 75 percent of his passes, two of those for touchdowns and racking up a 117.6 QB rating.
They won because Lamb played his heart out, catching 10 passes for 67 hard yards. They won because backup tight end now starter Luke Schoonmaker caught his first touchdown pass of the season. They won because Dowdle ran like a man with his hair on fire for 85 yards against former Cowboys defensive coordinator and now Washington head coach Dan Quinn's defense.
They won because former practice-squad cornerback Josh Butler, starting in place of the left-behind Diggs, showed why he has been signed to the 53-man roster off the practice squad, the Commanders picking on him endlessly, yet the first-year corner finishing with a team-high 12 tackles, one sack and three passes defensed, the most PBUs by an undrafted Cowboys free agent since 1994. They won because Micah Parsons was the Micah Parsons of old in his third game back after missing four games with that high-ankle sprain, finishing with eight tackles, two sacks, two tackles for loss, three QB hits and what must have been a half-dozen QB pressures, if not more.
They won because this much-maligned defense held the Commanders to just nine third-quarter points, the Cowboys holding their first three-quarter lead, 10-9, since a 17-12 advantage over the Giants in Week 4, and only the second of this season. This defense finished with four sacks, five TFLs, eight QB hits and seven PBUs.
And the Cowboys actually scored their first third-quarter touchdown of the year, a six-yard Rush to Jalen Tolbert toss. Plus, thanks to this defense, Donovan Wilson forcing a fumble Eric Kendricks recovered at the Washington 44-yard line, the Cowboys were set up to take a 20-9 lead on Schoonmaker's 22-yard TD grab. He was so wide open in the end zone, when asked if he was surprised, he said, "Wow."
Can't make any of this stuff up.
And then came the "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" part of this improbable game after the Commanders narrowed the lead to 20-17 following a Jayden Daniels touchdown pass and his two-point conversion run.
KaVontae Turpin struck, as if one of those former Candid Camera moments, "When you least expect it," bumbling the ensuing kickoff, yet picking up the loose ball at the 1-yard line, deliberately running to the 10, putting on a spin move – "It was just a reaction," he said – and then, as Cooper points out, "He just stepped on the gas." And I mean no one, not a soul, was going to catch the guy. Just a streak of lightning who hit a top speed of 21.25 mph from a standing start, nearly besting Monday's NFL-high 22.36 mph speed on his touchdown grab with a running start.
What a sight to behold, Turp going 99 yards for a touchdown, his first career kickoff return for a score, causing him to invoke his "Houdini" escape act. Get out of here. Including the fumble from the 5 to the 1, he did all this in 13 seconds.
"He's special, a special young man," said a postgame composed McCarthy, who would have been excused if running into the interview room screaming, "How 'bout dem Cowboys."
But the Cowboys were not quite in the clear yet, even though now leading 27-17 with 2:41 to play, letting a suddenly awakened rookie quarterback in Daniels lead the Commanders to a field goal and what appeared to be the tying touchdown until kicker Austin Seibert missed the extra point following a low snap, now down 1 with 21 seconds left, 27-26.
Let Juanyeh Thomas raise his hand now high in the air, not only recovering the onside kick on the run, but motoring straight ahead for a 43-yard touchdown return, 34-26, in seven seconds. Combine that with Turpin's 13-second touchdown romp, and this might have been the most electric 20 seconds in Cowboys record books since this is the first time in their 65-year history multiple kickoffs were returned for touchdowns in the same game.
Ballgame, right? But not until Israel Mukuamu intercepted Daniels' Hail Mary at the goal line, a pass he miraculously completed four games ago for the game-ending winner against the Bears.
So as pointed out on Friday, these youngins' are growing up. Get to know the names Asim Richards, T.J. Bass, Brock Hoffman, Cooper Beebe, Schoonmaker, Jalen Brooks, Chauncey Golston, on and on and on. And that includes Turpin, only in his third year but now tied for the team touchdown lead with four, matching CeeDee's, and has become the first Cowboys player to score touchdowns rushing, receiving and on punt and kickoff returns in a career.
And get it. It's only one game. One win, and against a Washington team (7-5) now having lost three consecutive games and only having beaten one team of the seven with a winning record. Once again a caution to those who want to deal in midseason absolutes, like the Commanders already are the poster child for how to run an organization, how they got it all figured out. Remember, they now are that tipped Hail Mary from being a 6-6 team playing a last-place schedule and still having to play Philadelphia and Dallas again.
Kind of tap the brakes on that one.
As for the Cowboys, don't ever want to hear how McCarthy has lost the locker room, or how this team has given up, or how they should wave the white flag. Just play the game. Remember, up next are the Giants on Thanksgiving, sinking to 2-9 with Tommy DeVito starting, followed by the 4-7 Bengals, the 3-7 Panthers and 4-6 Buccaneers, 2-5 over their past seven games.
This is the NFL. Hey, the Cowboys, losers of five straight go on the road to beat Washington, Seattle beats Arizona, Tennessee beats Houston, Cleveland beats Pittsburgh, the Chiefs need another walk-off field goal to beat Carolina, 30-27, and the Vikings had to go into overtime to beat the Bears, who scored 11 straight points to tie the game at 27 after four quarters, only to lose by a field goal in OT.
That's three first-place teams going down. Another first-place team needing to win on a walk-off field goal and a second-placer needing one in overtime to beat the 4-6 Bears, now losers of five straight. Oh, not to mention again the second-place Commanders losers to a team on a five-game losing streak.
You get me?
Hey, it's easy to pile on. To snicker. To make wisecracks about the Cowboys. But these guys won a game with a short-handed team that few, if any, ever dreamed they could win.
Enjoy.
