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Science Lab: Launch the 2024 Cowboys' season into the sun

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(Editor's note: The content provided is based on opinions and/or perspective of the DallasCowboys.com editorial staff and not the Cowboys football staff or organization.)

FRISCO, Texas — Having watched a seemingly endless amount of football, and sports in general, in my years walking this planet, I can unequivocally state with the utmost constitution that what occurred over the course of the 2024 season to the Dallas Cowboys is one of, if not the, most jaw-droppingly horrendous sequence of events I have ever witnessed.

Load this season into the nearest NASA or SpaceX rocket.

Aim it at the sun.

It all began with the infamous "all in" edict ahead of free agency that was either wildly misunderstood (according to the team's front office) or ferociously and willfully ignored after being trumpeted by the front office (according to the fanbase).

The poaching of Eric Kendricks away from the San Francisco 49ers being the lone headline grab from outside of the building while the re-signing of Jourdan Lewis and Rico Dowdle carried the weight for in-house retentions.

Then came the NFL draft, a huge positive in how the Cowboys were able to literally replicate my one and only mock draft by trading with the exact team I hoped they would (the Detroit Lions) to move down and turn one pick into two — picks that became Tyler Guyton and Cooper Beebe.

They'd then add Marist Liufau with their other third-round pick and, my oh my, how excited were we all to watch the newly-redesigned linebackers' group alongside the debut of DeMarvion Overshown.

But after several games of being able to enjoy Overshown's instant dominance and potential All-Pro ceiling, he was again stolen from us all by the injury bug, a devastating injury to his other knee (after returning from a torn ACL) that will cost him a chunk of the 2025 season (if not all of it).

And speaking of the injury bug, did that thing have 87 mouths and 174 pairs of fangs???

Throw that damn bug into the rocket as well.

I detailed this in a previous edition of the Science Lab, dubbed the “Murphy’s Law Edition”, but here's a reminder of the names that wound up on the injury report and/or injured reserve at some point with multiple games missed and, in many occasions, the rest of the season entirely:

Offense

  • Dak Prescott, QB*
  • CeeDee Lamb, WR*
  • Brandin Cooks, WR
  • Jake Ferguson, TE
  • John Stephens, Jr., TE*
  • Tyler Guyton, OL
  • Tyler Smith, OL
  • Zack Martin, OL*
  • Chuma Edoga, OL
  • Asim Richards, OL
  • Hunter Luepke, FB

Defense

  • Micah Parsons, EDGE
  • Sam Williams, DE*
  • DeMarcus Lawrence, DE*
  • Marshawn Kneeland, DE
  • Jordan Phillips, DL
  • DeMarvion Overshown, LB*
  • Nick Vigil, LB
  • DaRon Bland, CB
  • Trevon Diggs, CB*
  • Jourdan Lewis, CB
  • Josh Butler, CB*
  • Caelen Carson, CB*
  • Amani Oruwariye, CB*
  • Markquese Bell, S*
  • Juanyeh Thomas, S

Add in the timing of some of these injuries and just how many combined Pro Bowls and All-Pro nods were lost and this list is nauseatingly extensive. As it turns out, losing Sam Williams at the start of training camp was an omen we all ignored, and at our own peril.

Hell, if you'd really like to know how ravenous the injury bug has been this season, I even tore a couple tendons in my right elbow,— that insect even attacking those covering the team.

Is the rocket on the launchpad yet, Houston?

And while the injuries helped guarantee a fully derailed season, the tracks were already laid by a slow start when health was not yet an obstacle that could not be overcome. I mean, come on, this is me you're talking to, so, as such, let's shoot it straight here and not curve the bullet like Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman in the movie "Wanted".

Fact is, the Cowboys were struggling to find their identity and to win games as early as Week 2, their impressive road win against the Cleveland Browns (impressive at the time, anyway) was followed by back-to-back losses at home against the New Orleans Saints and Baltimore Ravens.

All engines are a go, Houston.

They'd go on to narrowly scrape by the New York Giants on the road before landing their lone actually impressive victory prior to the Week 7 bye: a gutsy performance by Prescott and his defense to upset the Steelers in Pittsburgh on a game-winning drive.

Those good feels would be immediately taken out back and shot by the Detroit Lions at AT&T Stadium, a blowout loss that sent the Cowboys spiraling into a five-game losing streak overall, strapped to a five-game losing streak at home heading into Week 12, pushing their odds of making the playoffs to below one percent with seven games remaining.

T-minus … 5 … 4… 3 … 2 …

It's honestly mindblowing that the coaching staff and remaining set of healthy players, along with a one-winged CeeDee Lamb, were able to continue battling en route to an electrifying upset win against the Washington Commanders that turned the fortunes on a 180-degree pivot to a 4-1 record from Nov. 24 through Dec. 22, with three of those victories being upsets and two against playoff caliber teams.

Grinch season was fun while it lasted, and it didn't last long.

Besides, the damage was already done, and far before the Philadelphia Eagles threw their black roses onto the coffin door at Lincoln Financial Field.

And go ahead and toss in the wildly unsuccessful reunion (and recent second divorce) with Ezekiel Elliott, while you're at it, but careful to not accidentally put yourself in concussion protocol from all of the rightful head shaking.

So as the Cowboys begin the 2025 calendar year with the official end of their 2024 regular season, marching into a murky fog of the unknown, contractually, I have but one final thing to say here:

Goodbye to 2024, and good riddance.

We have liftoff.

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